Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
