Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
