So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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