I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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