At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize