You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
