Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize