Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
