dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
