Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
