After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize