I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
