I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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