how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
