ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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