grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
