it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
