I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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