i barfeds in our rink
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
