she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
