Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
