I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
