plz talk dirty to me
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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