the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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