Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
