belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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