He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
