Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Damn victory sex feels great
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
