Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
