You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
