it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
