Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
The ass gains better be worth it
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