If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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