He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
