What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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