I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
