rhymes with "ouble enetration"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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