My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We left the knife in your bed.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
