Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
