Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
