After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I believe in your delicious
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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