Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
