My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize