I think i peed on brittanys purse
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
