Christians are straight up FREAKS
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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