I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
