At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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