Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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