when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
