; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
