i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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