I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
