Do vagina's smell?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
