i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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