I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
