We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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